Terminally ill or just old and annoying. We can help Putting people out of your misery since 1768

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The Schit Street site..............

A total "One stop shop" ...

The Norman Bates clinic is built on the site of the old Landfill Tawny barber shop in Schit Street.
The shop had a licence to perform surgical procedures granted by royal decree in 1768 by King George III. That licence is still active. This allows any member of our staff to practice medicine with little or no qualifications. The up side is we are not bound by the Hippocratic Oath. Let’s face it, the most time consuming part of medical training is concentrated on saving life.

1 Drop patient in

2 Get new will signed and witnessed

3 Initiate medical procedure

4 Receive death certificate
  (Always natural causes)

5 Same day cremation. This spares the
  family from any later complications such
  as police investigations etc.

Assisted suicide is only illegal if you get caught

Sponsored by Soylant Green

Things to do list 1.Bump off granny

Proud to be associated with The Essex Herald

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